out of my head - elise's journal

They affect our behaviour, our choices and sometimes our life. One that's been affecting me lately is a fear of not coming back. I am going to England for a month (June 15-July 19) and am afraid that something will happen and that I won't come back. Things are amazing in my life at the moment, which make it even harder to leave. I am told that this fear is common when someone goes on a trip, especially when it's a first time travelling alone. So I assume that it is completely normal. However, in those moments of intense fear, I forget all the reasons that motivated me to apply to this University. Then when the moment passes, I calm down and remember exactly why I want to go.

I had such a moment last night after I watched "Deep Impact". Not a good choice on my part. The movie is amazing, I've seen it more than once. However, to see people be separated from loved ones, saying their last goodbyes, people dying, the world coming to an end... these things only implified this fear I have. This fear really all started in February when one of my friend's father died tragically in a car accident. I questioned my decision to leave when everything is going right. Everything could be taken away from me at any moment, so why leave it?

I know I can see it completely the other way. And a part of me does. If life is so precious and could be taken away from us in an instant, why not take these opportunities that are in front of us? Going to England is a good choice; I am living my life to the fullest. I am not leaving everything behind; I am going there for a month. Honnestly, unfortunate things could happen to me whether or not I go.

So I have decided to avoid any movie with negative or stressful events, such as the one I watched last night. I need some positivity, to remind me why I really wanted to go to England in the first place. I'll start today with "What A Girl Wants".

I decided to post this reflection online so I could get feedback. I would like to have your opinion. Thanks Jac and Kass for the last comments.

# written by Elise

Comments:

I totally agree with you, Elise! So often we want to hide to stay away from bad things, but then we miss out on good things too. As cheesy as it may be, I always think of a quote from the movie The Princess Diaries: "The brave do not live forever, but the cautious don't live at all."

Enjoy England, you're so lucky to have the opportunity to go. It will be a nice chance to unwind after school ends, right? Have fun!

# posted by

Lynn : 5/25/2006 6:13 PM

I can imagine thats easy to feel that way having it being your first trip away alone. I recently went away on my own and flew and I actually didn't think anything about not coming back but I did think about liking it so much where I was going that I may not want to come home... and that was the case. I didnt ever get homesick. I loved it. I hope you dont get homesick too much. :)

I saw a movie lately, it was the cinema and I saw The Benchwarmers... hehe it was funny as. Maybe you could take up watching comedies only. :) jaz xxx

# posted by

Jazzy : 5/31/2006 12:59 AM

LOL, en effet, Deep Impact n'était pas exactement le meilleur choix de film pour te rassurer ;) Mais je ne crois pas que tu aies à t'en faire. Tu parts pour un mois, et ça va être une expérience tellement excitante, tu n'auras même pas le temps de t'ennuyer! Et même si la peur ou la "nostalgie" te prends, souviens-toi que lorsque tu reviendras, rien n'aura changé...Tous tes amis et ta famille vont t'attendre pour que tu leur racontes les moments merveilleux que tu auras passé.

Quelques suggestions de independant exploration/roadtrip/travel movies... :)
-Chasing Liberty
-Where the Heart Is
-The Motorcycle Diaries
-The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants

J'aurais bien ajouté What a Girl Wants, mais tu y avais déjà pensé... ;)

Bonne fin de semaine!
Kass

# posted by

Kass : 6/01/2006 4:22 PM