out of my head - elise's journal

A dress.
A job.
A place.
A compatible friend.
A soul-mate.
Your left shoe, but not your right one.
This state of mind.

Isn't it what everyone's looking for? The perfect fit in their career, their personal life... Every time we make a decision, we try to make the best one for us. We try to find that perfect fit. It might not be the ultimate best decision, but it's the best one for us. It fits with who we are, who we want to be.

After a summer of re-evaluating who I am and re-examining my priorities, wondering if my decisions were the right ones for me, I find myself in a place that fits. I started Teachers College (l'équivalent français, La formation à l'enseignement) this week. And it feels right. It fits. I'm in touch with what motivated me to become a teacher (and still does). I am more aware of what fits with me, what fits with Elise.

It's not easy to find oneself in such a good state of mind. We spend most of our lives wondering if, in fact, we did make the right decisions. If we are on the right path. What if one decision (that didn't really fit) leads us in this direction we were never supposed to take? I trust that future decisions will somehow lead us back.

This new school year, and the challenges that come with it, fit with who I am. This is where I am supposed to be, right now. I am sure of it. It feels good. It feels right.

Music: "Side" by Travis

Anonymity online: I've never posted my photo online, until very recently on my MSN space, which is only accessible to the people I know. I find the idea of my photo being lost out there in cyber space a little weird. Although I do post some personal information on my subject, I still don't feel comfortable posting my photo online. Maybe one day. Thanks Jazz for the comments... the last one really made me question my habbits.

# written by Elise

Comments:

I had a very bad day.
I had to write it somewhere.
(15 september)

# posted by

Elise : 9/15/2006 3:21 PM

I liked this post a lot. Everyone is definitely trying to find what fits for them and it's seems to almost be a natural process of time. Time. Is all it seems to be in the end, time and effort. Mostly time. I think things happen for a reason and what's meant to be will be. It's tenacious. It's what it is because it is... it be's. I find the uncertainty of the future a little scary sometimes but the positive potentials an excitement. :)

jaz xxx

# posted by

Jaz : 9/16/2006 10:34 PM

I forgot to mention, I had the same outlook on posting my photos online... the uncertainty of whose eyes were seeing them is what got me. I decided then to post some but not anything too revealing that it was me in the photo... so more like anti-identity ones... if that makes any sense.

I actually didnt know you had MSN space, I have msn messenger and use to have space but got rid of it because I had an contact added to my list that I didnt want to see it. I can understand what you mean there with what you said.

jaz xxx

# posted by

Jaz : 9/16/2006 10:41 PM

Wow...ce qui "fit"... Être sur la bonne voie, et savoir qu'on l'est... Ne pas regretter ses choix, prendre des riques...

J'ai beaucoup aimé tes réflexions, et je suis contente que tu sois rendu à cet endroit serein dans ta vie :) J'espère que je vais l'atteindre bientôt, cette tranquillité d'esprit, cette certitude de bien être ou je veux être et de savoir ce que je veux...J'ai toujours su ce que je ne voulais pas. Mais savoir je que je veux, ça c'est une autre paire de manches! J'imagine que c'est justement en prenant des risques et en tentant sa chance qu'on y arrive...

Merci pour tes réflexions, elles sont vraiment inspirantes ;)

Kass
P.S. Magnifique layout, comme toujours :)

# posted by

Kass : 9/21/2006 8:21 PM