out of my head - elise's journal

Web design has come a long way since 1997. I've evolved with it for some years. Now, I find myself in front of a PHP wave and don't know how to swim. I tried to stay on shore. It worked. For many years actually (in www land, many years = 2). Now I feel that I can't move up unless I overcome this wave. I don't have the energy, I don't have the inspiration, I don't have the time.

As a web designer, you visit your own website quite frequently. You are the first one to get tired of a layout. That layout you worked so hard on. The one that took hours to create. The one that you loved. It's now old. I'm glad that home design doesn't get as old as fast. It would cost a lot to repaint every year.

I find myself stuck. There are no more options. I won't create another simple HTML/IFrames website. The next design I create will be in a PHP/mySQL format. It's the smart choice. With a large website like my GilmoreMemories.com, it's the best option.

But do I feel like learning a new language? Do I even have the time? I think I'll wait until Christmas break to decide. There's a new version of PHP/mySQL for dummies book coming out. Maybe that will be more helpful than those tutorial websites (might as well be in Latin, I didn't understand a thing). It's not like I have the time right now. I'm a little disapointed.

My semester is going well. It's been 3 weeks, and it seems like longer. We have a lot of work. Kass, je crois que cette tranquilité d'esprit est toujours temporaire. Eventuellement, on change, on est en désiquilibre... pour ensuite revenir a quelque chose qui "fit". Thanks Jazzy for the comment. The wedding is this saturday!

# written by Elise 2 comments

A dress.
A job.
A place.
A compatible friend.
A soul-mate.
Your left shoe, but not your right one.
This state of mind.

Isn't it what everyone's looking for? The perfect fit in their career, their personal life... Every time we make a decision, we try to make the best one for us. We try to find that perfect fit. It might not be the ultimate best decision, but it's the best one for us. It fits with who we are, who we want to be.

After a summer of re-evaluating who I am and re-examining my priorities, wondering if my decisions were the right ones for me, I find myself in a place that fits. I started Teachers College (l'équivalent français, La formation à l'enseignement) this week. And it feels right. It fits. I'm in touch with what motivated me to become a teacher (and still does). I am more aware of what fits with me, what fits with Elise.

It's not easy to find oneself in such a good state of mind. We spend most of our lives wondering if, in fact, we did make the right decisions. If we are on the right path. What if one decision (that didn't really fit) leads us in this direction we were never supposed to take? I trust that future decisions will somehow lead us back.

This new school year, and the challenges that come with it, fit with who I am. This is where I am supposed to be, right now. I am sure of it. It feels good. It feels right.

Music: "Side" by Travis

Anonymity online: I've never posted my photo online, until very recently on my MSN space, which is only accessible to the people I know. I find the idea of my photo being lost out there in cyber space a little weird. Although I do post some personal information on my subject, I still don't feel comfortable posting my photo online. Maybe one day. Thanks Jazz for the comments... the last one really made me question my habbits.

# written by Elise 4 comments